ugh

Ok make that almost 3 hours. I need to go to sleep!

Breaking news: another engagement... I think that's like number 6 or 7 since Thanksgiving... crazy! Also, another baby born... I think like the 4th or 5th since October/Novemberish. Also crazy!

Sometimes I think I want to get engaged and get married soon. And sometimes, that idea really freaks me out. And sometimes discussions that happen now make me think about how different married life is. I take for granted that my decision is just that... it's my decision. And of course, being human and all, at least a part of me really likes it that way. Now I'd like to think myself a rather laid-back and easy going person. Though there are exceptions, for the most part I think that small decisions don't really matter much to me. But right now, I make those decisions with little care for them. But when you bring a whole other person into the picture... well, suddenly that changes things. It's no more of what I want but... what we want or what we can agree to from our differing opinions or perspectives. I didn't think I was a very selfish person until I got into a relationship. And maybe I'm not all that selfish, just more aware of it.

Anyway, a conversation I had today just got me thinking about it. Things like picking a church to attend... because I never really had to consider anyone else in making that decision, I just picked where I wanted or felt led to go. But you can't just do that if you are married. What if I love a church and my husband doesn't care for it? Or vice versa? In a way it's not a huge decision, but in a way, choosing a church family is a huge decision. And that's just one decision... so like I said, I love the thought of getting married but it also kind of freaks me out...